Reminders to never take things for granted

The other night Nick said something to me that made me realize how settled I was in my life, and how I became something I told myself not to do - become numb and take for granted what is around me.

We were talking about Burning Man and how we want to go... and Coachella too.. after we just bought our Outsidelands tickets. I'm pretty envious of people who can go to a crap ton of events in a year, because I can barely afford one or two.. but we're getting off track here. He said that I get set off like a trigger and become upset at small things that occur and that Burning Man seemed like a place that that would happen.

And it's so true... the part where I've become really prone to becoming instantly irritated over trivial things. Id don't know what's wrong with me. That was Thursday night and I spent the rest of the weekend on reversing my mentality. 

I spent the rest of the weekend forcing myself to stay up late and enjoy something that I haven't in a while, I laid in bed and was thankful for Nick, for being able to be in love with someone and able to have them so physically close, something we both ached for during our frequent +12hour Skype sessions.. and reveled in when he visited me and it felt so good just to hold him. I want to experience that always, and not let myself become a stranger to that feeling.

Sunday we woke up late, ate breakfast.. or lunch?, showered, and hopped in the car. We visited a part of a part of San Diego (no, that's not a typo..) that we haven't explored - the urban side of some seaside cliffs. It got chilly, we held hands, we ate across from a top Yelp restaurant because we were too hungry for the line, and then we went grocery shopping. 

I need to wake myself up from this. It's like that saying, you're alive, but are you really living? I haven't really been living, I guess. I've just been in my own world, letting it swallow myself alive. 

But I'm waking back up now.